WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sarcasm needs its own font
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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