is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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