Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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