You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
