I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
why is half of my head shaved?
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