so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
