Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize