i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
