Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
