update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My life is pants optional.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
