so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
