I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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