...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
