I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
please come you make the beer taste better
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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