vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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