wrigley field is MILF paradise
My liver just broke up with me...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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