soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
