You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize