you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
