No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
