I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
