I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
