Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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