Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
