Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
