there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
