just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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