On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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