His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
