Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
