my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
