Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
