BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
