I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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