when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
