I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
