one two three fourrrrnication!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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