My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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