yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize