How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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