is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
