After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I need a burrito and a hug.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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