My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize