ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
