May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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