You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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