Can Purell be used as lube?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
