does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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