what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
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