State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
