I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
