and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
