Porn is love you can see.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
