i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
