Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize