Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
