Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
